THIS WAS AN APRIL FOOLS POST FOR APRIL 1 2018
After monitoring Social Media sites for several years, the Forest Service has recently announced that it will begin temporarily closing trails that are too popular. If a trail has too many “likes,” has had posts go viral, or there are just too many darn shares and posts of it—the Forest Service says it is time to shut it down.
“We are really getting pretty tired of seeing the same ole post day after day of the same dozen or so places,” states Theron Otherpaths, Forest Service Ranger for the Rattlesnake Lake Ranger District. Otherpaths also mentions that the staff is getting pretty worn out looking at all the selfies too from these places. “Really—it’s one thing to constantly keep posting photos of Rattlesnake Ledge—but do we have to have the constant silly yoga poses, strained grins, and the arms in the air like you are trying to flag down a UFO,” he states.
Ima Oldentimer of the Colchuck lake Ranger District says that by closing down these over used trails, not only will it give those places some relief—but perhaps folks will actually realize there are another two or three thousand trails or so out there. And she states, “maybe folks will actually start making some discoveries on their own too—instead of constantly relying on strangers. “I mean sheesh,” she says, “would you go up to a total stranger and say, ‘you know nothing about me or my ability or tastes—but hey you seem like the perfect source for my outdoor contentment and safety!’”
In any case, the Forest Service hopes to reopen many of the closed trails by next April Fools Day if folks can begin dispersing—and perhaps they may even open earlier if folks promise no more yoga poses on every ledge, lake shore and summit. “It really makes us roley-poley can’t-touch-our-toes types self-conscious,” states Oldentime. And she adds, “besides not everyone looks good in yoga pants!”