Throughout the Golden State from the Redwoods to the Sierra to the Mojave Desert, Californians are growing tired of the influx of out-of-staters, particularly folks from Washington State on their trails. In fact, increasing numbers of Californians are blaming many of the state’s trail problems and park incidents on these out-of-staters. “They compete with us for backcountry camping permits,” states longtime High Sierra trail hiker Mia Bakyord. “They come down here with their OR jackets and $50 water bottles and think they own our national park and forest lands,” she added.
Washington is flush with trails and public lands, leading many Californians perplexed as to why they want to come hike in their home state. “Sure we have something like nine national parks, the John Muir Trail, 10,000-foot peaks minutes away from L.A., huge wilderness areas especially in our deserts, and lovely hikes in our wine country,” says Sal Fichhyker. “Those darn Northwesterners just need to stay in their own lane and keep their lattes off our trails,” he angrily retorted.
In fact many Golden State hikers are at their breaking point when it comes to Washingtonians on their trails. They hike too slow, don’t know how to merge at trail junctions, and don’t know how to park their Subarus, Priuses and Teslas at the trailheads contend many local hikers. “And worse of all they come here for our weather,” adds Al Waisunny. “Don’t come down here in February enjoying our sunny and warm trails and beaches,” he implores. “Stay home and play in all of your rain.”
There has been so much disgruntlement over Washingtonians coming to California for better weather that many locals believe that a radical hiking organization is behind the massive amount of rain and lousy weather that has hit California over the past several months. “Wouldn’t surprise me if it isn’t somehow the works of the gate keeping hiking group, Stay off our Public Lands,” shrugs Parla Doxil. “Wouldn’t surprise me too if this isn’t one big April Fool’s joke!”